Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The 2010 film "Legion", or "Welcome to the Irony-verse"

I saw "Legion" last weekend and it is ridiculously bad. The most interesting thing about the film is that nearly all of the main characters suffer highly ironic deaths.
  • The young black man trying to win custody of his child in a divorce proceedings is killed by an angel-possessed child.

  • The owner of the diner is killed when he blows the diner up to try and kill an angel.

  • The wealthy, yuppy mother dies immediately after trying to "sell out" the newly born child.

  • The bitter, yuppy father is killed and then his body is filled with acid

  • The exhibitionist daughter of the yuppy couple is killed off-screen in a mundane car crash.

  • The military veteran is killed when he gets hit in the back with acid, causing his spine to disintegrate

  • The archangel Michael does more than any other being on Earth to thwart God's plans, and he turns out to be the only being that God brings back to life.


The old joke about Stephen King is that all of his books had the same basic plot: X gets possessed and tries to kill people. In "Cujo", X is the dog. In "The Shining", X is the house. In "Legion", X is the 1950s: it's iconic monsters are an angel-possessed granny, an angel-possessed "ice cream man", and an angel-possessed child (who happens to look just like the Chucky doll from the "Chucky" films).

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