The world situation...

Here's the world situation as we know it:

• American troops are still trying to aid Afghanistan and Pakistan in their struggle with the Taliban and Al Qaeda.


• Iran is still developing nuclear weapons.


• American troops are still on duty protecting Iraq for Al Qaeda and other insurgents.


• Turmoil, upheaval, and revolution has spread across the Middle East.


• We're launching air strikes on Libya now.


• Out-of-control deficit spending could cause the European economy to collapse any day now.


• Out-of-control deficit spending could cause the American economy to collapse any day now.


• The drug war in Mexico is expanding beyond restraint.


• We have political power struggles from Washington D.C. to Wisconsin.


• The American government is threatening to shut itself down on a week-by-week basis.


• There is the ungoing humanitarian apocalypse in Japan.

Now we come to the worst disaster of all. A disaster that President Obama regrets more than all of the others put together, yet, as it turns out, was tragically self-inflicted. A disaster that future generations will point to as the 21st century's darkest hour.

That's right: Sascha and Malia won't be visiting Machu Picchu this year. Weep, humanity. Weep.