Friday, July 21, 2006

Howard Dean is a blogger's best friend.

The man with more holes in his feet than Yosemite Sam blasts himself again with more mindless remarks. Here are some classic Deanisms:
"You know, people say the Republicans are tough on defense. How can you be tough on defense if five years after 9/11, Osama bin Laden is still at large, the Iranians are about to get nuclear weapons, North Korea's quadrupled their nuclear weapons stash. . . .
Dean is absolutely oblivious to how these statements indict Democrats as well. Seven years after the World Trade Center bombing and President Clinton still hadn't gotten Bin Laden? President Clinton allowed North Korea to stockpile a nuclear weapons stash in the first place? Does anyone seriously believe that the president who gave us Mogadishu is going to go down in history as the "national defense" president?

If Howard Dean ever gets serious about proving that Democrats are tough on defense, he might want to explain to the American people why the Clinton/Daschle "no casulties rule" was such a lousy idea first.

There is even more brain-damaged commentary from Howard Dean:
“This country is in the worst shape since Richard Nixon, and probably before that,” Dean said.
Yes, Kent State, the assassinations of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Senator Robert Kennedy, the mass campus protests against the draft and the Vietnam War, the Cuban missile crisis, the Yom Kippur War, the Tet offensive, and the black plastic diaper trapeze bathing suit all happened between 2001 and 2006. And they were all President Bush's fault.

And now, a word from our sponsor, the counter-factual reality-based community:
"If you think what's going on in the Middle East today would be going on if the Democrats were in control, it wouldn't, because we would have worked day after day after day to make sure we didn't get where we are today. We would have had the moral authority that Bill Clinton had when he brought together the Northern Irish and the IRA, when he brought together the Israelis and the Palestinians."
You see, if only we'd elect Democrats instead of Republicans, then the whole world would just give up its evil ambitions and be a peace and it would all happen without anyone getting hurt.

Of course, the United States already tried Dean's strategy for world peace without much success. I'm sure that if you try hard enough you could even find a solemn document stating something along the lines of "I promise not to invade anyone. Sincerely, A. Hitler".

Or, to view the absurdity of Dean's ideas from another point of view, lets examine the United States from a historical perspective. As liberal historians would be the first to admit, the United States has engaged in genocide, territorial aggrandizement on a continental scale, mass slavery, nuclear war, and waves of oversees imperialism, murder, mayhem and destruction culminating in the the complete overthrow of international law and world order by President George W. Bush's evil Neocon war for total planetary domination. And yet, the moral committment of an Al Gore or a Hillary Clinton is so strong, wholesome and pure that a country who can elect such a person as them to its presidency in 2008 is redeemed, made new and unshakeably wholesome, and elevated to the status of moral beacon of truth and justice. Give me a break!

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